Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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