M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
