Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
