I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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