Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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