Small penises have feelings too.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This baby is an asshole
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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