she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
