I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
