can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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