Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize