just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
