oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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