SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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