i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
