So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
