Grow some girl-balls and come out already
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
