at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
