I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
