An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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