girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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