guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
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