Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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