I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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