I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
