Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
