guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
