I love black thongs
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
