Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
nutella sex= disaster
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
