I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
