Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
