Farmville is her only friend.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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