Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
