He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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