I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
