I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
