This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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