I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
