i don't like sucking hair
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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