Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
