i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
