dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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