I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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