Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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