I murdered the dance floor call the cops
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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