Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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