That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
