that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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