The maid of honor just puked.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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