Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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