I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
