oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
