We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
