So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
