Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
