Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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