Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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