Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize