if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
