his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
