your parents love me but you hate me
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Someone signed my nipple.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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