Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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