My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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