I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize