There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Boobs are out for the taking
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
