I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
