You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
